Want an Obama Job? Answer the questions he won't!!

Wow!! Several news sources are picking up the intrusive job application form required to apply for a job in the Obama Administration. The NYTimes was one of the first to write about it and published a copy of the form.

This is 7 pages of hypocrisy!! This man and his campaign have been the most secretive in U.S. history. He has yet to produce his actual birth certificate!

Let's take a look at the 63 questions and see how many Obama the candidate refused to answer.

I. Professional Background
1) resumes and biographical statements? Have you seen my infomercials
2) licensed profession or occupation?
3) names of all corporations, firms, partnerships, trusts, or other business enterprises? does that include shady real estate deals?
4) chronologically list activities with derived income? do real estate capital gains count? how much did he make from his book deals? Have we seen his tax statements?
5) You or your spouse a lobbyist? Move to the front of the line! We said we would deny lobbyist jobs in this administration during the campaign, but now its cool.
6) You or your spouse worked for a foreign government? Do campaign contributions from non-U.S. citizens apply?
7) You or your spouse ever lived abroad? I'm not sure where I was born, is that OK?
8) Briefly describe the most controversial matters you have been involved with? Define briefly? Define involved? Define been? Next question.
9) Names or 3 professional references? William Ayers, Tony Rezko, and Jeremiah Wright. Shazam!

II. Publications, Writings, Speeches
I'd really like to help provide this but the LA Times, Chicago Tribune, and other friends of mine won't release this information.
10) Writings: My education records are sealed.
11) Testimony: My legal documents are sealed.
12) Speeches: See the LA Times
13) Electronic communications: I've been IMing Farakhan/Ayers all week about the Bears game.
14) Diaries: No, but you can see my children's' diaries. Let me post them on their MySpace pages for you.

III. Relationships & Affiliations
15) List all corporations, partnerships, trusts, or other business entities you or your spouse have been affiliated with? Do affiliations with terrorists count? Freddie & Fannie
16) List memberships in organizations? ACORN, Trinity United Church of Christ, NOW
17) You or your spouse been a member of an organization that has denied or restricted membership based on race, sex, disability, etc.? Damn, Affirmative Action helps white people??
18) Any affiliation you or your spouse have with financial institutions currently the subject of federal government intervention? Freddie and Fannie.
19) Currently or in the past 10 years served in a fiduciary capacity? Dude, have you seen my campaign bankroll!! I got Gs!!
20) Other than those listed above, list any association that presents a conflict of interest with a proposed federal office position? Do I have to list them all? Even from a year ago, because if it happened more than 1 year ago then my association is irrelevant.

IV. Financial Information
21) Provide copies of all financial disclosure forms from the past ten years? Well I didn't have to submit these to get elected to any office I've held, so no.
22) Furnish a copy of each net worth statement from the past ten years? I told you my tax info is on lock down. That's Daley!!
23) Furnish a copy of all brokerage statements for the past year? Problem, BearSterns and Lehman Bros. are gone. Wanna see my stake in Freddie and Fannie?
24) List all loans in excess of $10K made to you or your spouse? I don't think so!! Nice try!
25) Furnish a copy of any trust you or your family are the beneficiaries of? Oprah has me in her will, does that count?
26) Please describe all real estate in your name? Talk to Tony, he hooooooked us up!! He's a great neighbor too. His wife makes the best brownies, if you know what I mean!
27) Please describe the mortgage terms of properties from question 21? Let's just say Tony got us a good deal!
28) You or your spouse held property in which the title contained restrictive covenants? We helped Jeremiah build his church.
29) Describe contractual of informal arrangements regarding future employment/termination payments provided if you enter federal government employment? All I know is that my friends in Congress better stop only increasing their pay, they need to give the Prez a bump.
30) You or your spouse have substantial interest in relationship with any government through contracts, grants, loans, etc.? Nope, my kids go to private school.
31) Any categories of personal financial records that you will not release publicly? Yeah, all of them.
32) Have you or your spouse received gifts exceeding $50 from other than relatives or close family friends? For sure! I've got a lot of gracious close personal friends.

V. Tax Information
33-41) Let's just skip this section alright, you're not getting anything. Here's the Heisman, let's move on.

VI. Legal and Administrative Proceedings
42) You or your spouse filed lawsuits as plaintiff or defendant? Does this include campaign/electoral challenges?
43) Administrative agencies you or your spouse have been involved as material witness? Maybe, if they ever pursue legal action against Freddie or Fannie
44) List any insolvency or bankruptcy you or your spouse have been involved? We've distanced ourselves from our poor relatives.
45) Have you ever been investigated by any law enforcement agency? Not yet!!
46) Have any member of your family or close social/business associate been arrested for, charged with and/or convicted of a crime? Where do I start! Let's just say Billy Ayers, is a good man now!
47) Have you or your spouse been accused of any violation of gov. or agency procedures? Campaign financing.
48) List complaints made against your or your spouse? There are a lot of haters out there. We'll silence them come January.
49) List any malpractice claim made against you? My legal records are off the table, next.
50) List any claims of sexual harassment? My VP was eyeing up his rival pretty hard.
51) Have any civil judgements of liens been rendered against you?
52) Details of child support and/or alimony? All I know is that Michelle has promised to do bad things to me if I mess up.

VII. Domestic Help
53) Past and present Domestic help? Ayers cut my lawn once.
54) Were all individuals listed in Question 49 legal to work in the U.S.? Good question? Am I?
55) Have you paid all taxes and social security obligations for those listed in Question 49? not telling.
56) Have you complied with all federal, state, and local laws related to those employed in Question 49? Wouldn't you like to know! Wink!

VIII. Miscellaneous
57) List all cohabitants? You know I don't allow my poor relatives near Chi-town.
58) Provide the URL address of any website that features you in either a personal or professional capacity? Check any News site, I've got 'em in my pocket!
59) Do you or your family own a gun? No. Nobody should own a gun unless you are part of my civil defense force.
60) Have you had a complete physical in the past year? Yup. Oh, you aren't going to get any details of my health. That's right! Gotta smoke?
61) Have you had any association with any person, group, or business that could be use - even unfairly - to impugn or attack your character and qualifications for government service? Come on. Are you serious? What associations haven't I had that meet this criteria?
62) Do you know anyone or organization that might take steps to criticize your nomination, including news organizations? I'm telling you, the news orgs. love me. We'll censor talk radio and internet content in January.
63) Provide any other information that could suggest a conflict of interest of be a possible source of embarrassment to you, your family, or the President-Elect? I think I've covered most of them.

Whew! That was fun!

Oh the hypocrisy... He won't make it through 4 years as the polished puppet they've got dancing for everyone. People will learn more about Obama, and there will be buyer's remorse!

Signing off..JCB Sphere: Related Content